Rare Pokemon Sightings

21 07 2014

This beauty was found by a dude who was outside selling weed. It seems to be really rachet.  Honey is twenty seven, argues, fights. Scientists are calling it “Ornah”.

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30 05 2014

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Cowboys Lose; Redskins Honored With Parade

30 12 2013

ImageSunday marks the end of yet another disappointing season for Dallas Cowboys fans and another reason for fans of the Washington Redskins to be proud of their team. Of course the Redskins’ playoffs hopes were crushed months ago but their fans stayed loyal and focused on the more important goal: The Dallas Cowboys not making the playoffs.

“It’s a special time,” said one die-hard Redskins fan . “You wear your Redskins gear, you talk shit at work, ruin a marriage all in the hopes that your team will gain that ultimate prize. This is the best moment of my life.”

A victory parade hosted by the City of Washington, DC will be held in honor of the Cowboys’ loss on Tuesday, Dec.31. In addition the Redskins have received a personal invite from President Barack Obama to join him at the White House to watch the playoffs.





Teaser Trailer Confirms That People Will Be In Christopher Nolan’s Next Film

15 12 2013

Teaser Trailer Confirms That People Will Be In Christopher Nolan's Next Film

After the success of The Dark Knight Rises fans began to speculate what director Christopher Nolan’s next film would be about. Today they received their answer. The teaser trailer for Christopher Nolan’s next film Interstellar was released today and it all but confirmed that his next film will be about people.
Nolan is known for being secretive about his films’ premises so it’s quite a surprise that the trailer actually revealed so much. The fact that the 2 minute trailer actually shows 10 seconds of footage of a person is unprecedented for Nolan.  With this it’s safe to assume that there will be some kind of plot that revolves around these people and that at some point they will say words that guide us through that plot. There could even be movement of body parts. The possibilities are endless. Interstellar opens on Nov 7 2014.

 





11 12 2013





NBA Referees Still Reviewing Play After Two Weeks

11 12 2013

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It has been two weeks since a loose ball went out of bounds at a Pacers-Heat game and the referees decided to review the play. “We need to make sure that the right team wins the game,” said NBA referee Joey Crawford. “We at the NBA are committed to excellence. Now sit y’all asses down and wait.”

Fan unrest has been kept under control but this situation is sure to explode into a full scale riot if this continues. “I just want to go home,” said one fan. “I really don’t care who wins at this point. Also can someone stop by my house and feed my dog?” NBA officials have massaged the delicate situation by letting fans shoot half court shots for money (They owe four fans 60,000 dollars) and handing out free Hot-Dogs but these tactics are proving less and less effective. One crazed fan allegedly attacked bystanders with a T-shirt gun while the Pacers’ team mascot hasn’t been seen since Day 4.

Commissioner David Stern commended the game’s commentators who, despite having been watching the same replay for 2 weeks, are still providing interesting insight into the game of Basketball. Players are mostly happy about the opportunity to get two weeks of rest before a play that would decide the outcome of a game but the bench-warmers are visibly drained from walking around the outskirts of a huddle for such a long period of time.





Nerd Restaurant Review

5 12 2013

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I’d like to start out by saying that this isn’t being written as an “opinion”. I have been going to restaurants my whole life. So my, and only my, opinion is the only one that matters.

After a 3 day masturbation/World of Warcraft binge I decided it might be time to go out and treat myself to something to eat. After all I had earned it. Unfortunately I found myself at this restaurant that turned out to be easily the worst place one Earth.

The first problem was the location. Anyone who knows anything about restaurants knows that in order for a restaurant to be successful that the sun has to hit it at a 45 degree angle. The sun hit this hellhole at a 46 degree angle! Seriously how could you get that wrong!? This alone pretty much solidified that this was going to be the worst dining experience in the history of mankind. I would have went back home but as the self respecting 38-year-old man that I am I simply sent out a smug tweet to my two followers and carried on.

I was even ready to give this place another chance until I read the menu. It was HORRIBLE. Can you believe that it had a selection that was accessible to (wait for it) EVERYONE! These people had the nerve to ACTUALLY have a menu that is not specifically tailored to EXACTLY what I think it should be. RIDICULOUS! It’s not that my opinion matters more than the general public. IT’S THAT MY OPINION IS RIGHT. Once again, I have been going to restaurants ALL. MY. LIFE. So I’m THE expert here. At this point I should have went home and jerked off for the fifth time that day but I continued.

After waiting in line and camping out for three day with people who think like I do I FINALLY got seated. And that’s when the waiter showed up. At that point I knew that I was literally in hell because he was ALL WRONG. This guy looked nothing like the waiters that I spend my Friday nights arguing about on message boards. Plus I’ve seen this guy at other restaurants and HE IS TERRIBLE. And to make matter worse, despite my smug face book posts, YouTube comment rants and death threats they refused to give me another waiter. UNBELIEVABLE.

I decided to order the cheeseburger. I mean NOBODY can get that wrong right? WRONG. The waiter brings my food out and it is HORRID. ANYONE who rarely leaves the confines of their Mom’s basement knows that the bun should have 100 Sesame Seeds. This ATROCITY had 101 Sesame Seeds. I managed to block out the laughs and smiles from the restaurants’ other customers and COUNTED! How can you have the AUDACITY, the UNMITIGATED GALL, the temerity to literally disrespect and RUIN my childhood by using too many Sesame Seeds?!?! And after all that I had to force myself to eat this abomination- A tough undertaking when you are ACTIVELY trying to not enjoy something.

Finally it was time to leave. THANK GOD. I have never had a worse experience in my life. This place was so bad that I am going to get on the internet and follow every single update on this place and when they open another location I will be the FIRST in line. IT. WAS. THAT. BAD.








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